Maybe the way we feel isn’t supposed to be logical, to be rational. Maybe it’s okay to be unsure and scared. Maybe we lose so we learn to let go. And maybe we leave in order to grow, to blossom in to who we’re meant to be. Maybe some things aren’t supposed to make sense. Maybe you have to take risks to get what you deserve. Maybe we shouldn’t underestimate our potential. Maybe we shouldn’t set limitations or boundaries. Maybe life is divine chaos. Maybe it’s okay to love ourselves. Maybe we don’t need everything we want. Maybe we shouldn’t fear the unknown, but embrace it. Learn from it. maybe someone can exceed your expectations. maybe we can control our destinies after all. maybe we have to fight for what we believe in. maybe, just maybe, we should stop second guessing ourselves and just jump in.

She’s the girl that has a few best friends and doesn’t need anymore. The girl that laughs the hardest at her own jokes. She’s the girl that will hang up on you, but then call you right back and say sorry. She’s the girl who will never leave your side when you need her. The girl who will go out of her way to cheer you up. She’s the girl who never sleeps without her teddy bear by her side. She’s the girl who says she isn’t ticklish, but really is. She’s the girl who will not give up on you if she really believes in you. She’s the girl who believes in loving somebody forever.

I still get chills when I listen to these songs that you mentioned. You probably think that I have forgotten about you. But no, I still think about you everyday, if not more. You were my first love, or so I thought. No, I don’t like, or love you still. I got over you finally, but you taught me so much. And I just wanted to thank you. Those were some of the best months of my life. Don’t let any girl tell you that all you are is an asshole, cause you’re not. Sure you have you moments, but don’t we all? You’re just about the greatest thing that has happened to me. And you’ll always have a spot in my heart and give me chills whenever I see your name.

I’m not always as confident as I seem. There are many nights and many days when all I want is to be held. I love being held. Always. Sometimes I don’t want to talk about what is bothering me. Sometimes I just want a hug. Someone who will let me cry. I like when boys cry in front of me - when people aren’t afraid to show what they’re really feeling. I don’t like when people run from their true feelings because it doesn’t do anyone any good. I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I am not naive. I know what it feels like to be completely broken and I am all too familiar with what it means to be hurt. I know what it’s like to see something funny and not laugh. I’ve been taken advantage of, used, and abused. My feelings have been blatantly disregarded. But I still believe that all people are good at heart. And my trust in people has not diminished. To be completely honest, I hope it never does. Ever.

The truth is, I love you. I’m hopelessly in love with you. I love you more than the words “I love you” can explain. I have loved you for a very long time. Every single time I even see your name, I feel a hurricane of emotions. My heart beats a little faster when you talk to me. You’re my best friend and I’ve been telling you I love you for years, but why can’t I tell you that I’m in love with you? Is it because I know that this will never work if I do? Maybe I’m just scared. I know I’m not your number one, and that’s okay. I’m sorry.

I’m confused about how and why he couldn’t love me as much as I loved him. He knows. He always knew. And now it’s too late. I left because I couldn’t stay and now it’s too late for us. In my dreams, I see us meeting again. I want us to meet again. When the time is right. When we have the time for each other. For him to love me as much as I loved him.